The Relationship Dilemma

All my life I battled myself over the choice of guys.Pretty, fatty, rich, hipsters,players...Such a mess.I like to think about boys precisely divided in two giants category.So my mind can store them and easily find something to complain about them.
Classy.
I'm talking about the good and the bad guys!
I was lucky enough to meet one real good guy in my life. He was so sweet and intelligent, and totally cute.A skater, guitar player who dreamed to be a journalist.And I was so lucky to meet him that I didn't realize I was in love with him until I actually lost him.He end up with an ex-lesbian-super-skinny girl.We end up as friends (TRUE STORY).And then the bad guy. The kind that broke my hart a million time. I promised myself I would never cry again after him. I felt like I had consumed all my tears. But still, every time I look him in the eyes I get the weird sensation in my stomach and go like "oooh he is soo hot". Why? Why all bad guy are good looking.Of Course they're also full of great lies, worst cheating excuses, and always hot bodies we can resist.  (ALSO A TRUE STORY) It's so ridiculous how life pass us by. How we loose opportunity of love and be loved. When it comes to the choice of man, it's always a giants mess.Take me!! After all of this tragedy, I feel unable to love. I do go out with nice guys or not, but still... Nothing is good about them.Not completely for example some of them are just too tall or too young or not enough interesting, they don't read or watch good movies or have the right passion and hobbies.
I'm so obsessed with relationship and disappointment, that I find a good reason not to go on with dating someone basically everytime! And sometimes I ask my self:- am I sick?? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MEEE!!!! Maybe I'm so happy with myself, that I don't need anybody else... Or maybe I'm just scared I'll never find the right guy.
Anyways that's something I can think about tomorrow!
Night everyone! Don't let love scare you!